Forgotten girl.I was the forgotten girl.I've been used and discarded, I've got nothing left.I'm exhausted and emotional.I'm numb from the pain, although it still stings a bit.Then you came into my life..You took away all the hurtYou made me happy againEven made me feel better about my selfYou protected me from what i've been hiding from my entire life.
Do i look like her now?She was rather short, a petite, plump little thing.She loved to draw, paint, and sing.No, she never cared much about her looks,She was much more worried about reading books.Until one day, she came across a magazineOn the cover there was a tan, tall girl, who was abnormally lean.She went to the mirror and sighed one day,She picked up the magazine and cried, "I wish I could look that way!"Days after days, she had been starving herself,All at the same time, she was not in good health.One last time she looked in the mirror then collapsed to the ground.She smiled then asked, "Do I look like her now?"
Every little thing you do.First it begins with that smile of yours,it leaves me crumbling down to the floor.The way you laugh makes my knees go weak,And I find myself barely able to speak.When you stand tall, I will too.There are so many reasons why I love you.When you wait by my door, so you can hold my hand,or when you listen to what I say, and truly understand.These are words that I hope you will soon see,That every little thing you do means the world to me.
A small case of social anxiety...I never wanted to feel this way.I've never wanted to hold my breath every time someone touched me,or nearly faint when I get called to the front of my classroom.It haunts me, pressing a weight on my chest that is unbearable.I walk by crowds of people hoping I don't catch their eye.Maybe they won't notice, maybe they won't criticize me.Oh god, did I trip?Is there something on my face?Why are they staring? I should stop worrying so much.Just keep your head down, it will be alright..
Please.I just want to hold you close to me..You're only three steps away, yet it feels like a mile.Do you forgive me yet? For pushing you away.It's supposed to be a happy ending, right? Or will I die in agony?I'm sorry for what I did, don't act so cold.
Dull SensesDo you hear the shadows?Whispering about you?Murmuring your secrets?Yelling out your problems?Do you see the sunlight?Trying hard to shine down?On a fake happiness?Masquerading as goodness?Do you feel the silence?Covering this whole world?Eating at your conscience?Eating at your sanity?Do you taste the redness?Enveloping you slowly?Licking at your heels andLicking at your wide eyes?Do you smell the corpses?Littered all around you?Flesh gray and rotten?Just like you are now?Do you hear the shadows?Whispering about you?Murmuring your secrets?Stealing your sanity?
Her voiceI hear her voiceShe screams my nameShe is angry against meI pray to relieve my painShe punishes my mistakesShe wants my sufferingI pray for my forgivenessShe wanted a true loveThe only thing that I have given is a lie
Dear PersonDear Person,Whenever you're sad,Don't be alone.Dear Person,Don't call yourselfA burdenWhen you're sad.Dear Person,Don't wish thatYou didn't have friends.Dear PersonDon't bottle upYour emotions.Dear Person,Don't cry alone.Dear Person,Don't outcast yourself.Dear Person,The little things do matter.Dear Person,We're all flaws.Dear Person,Don't hurt yourself.Don't Person,We're all mistakes.Dear Person,Don't judge yourself.Dear Person,It's okay to hate yourselfTo get better.Dear Person,I love you.Dear Me.Please read thisWhen you're sad.
Ode to Souls our society is built on the binary of proper lines.spotless, picturesque, sanitary lives trailing cycle upon cycle of symmetry.yet we function better without framed order.we have wanderlust built into our core; we bleed out the seasons when it suits us.our lives are made of tire treds feeding the clouded sunset, skies pouring violently overravenous hearts seeking catharsis.the nyctophiliac, the heliophiliac.the nemophilist, the pluviophile.if we breathed in your blank normalcy, we'd crumble and die.
ResonateI want to be more than justa tangle of arteries and cartilageI want to be pink sunsets,poppy tendrils, and puzzle pieces:things not to be lost in the folds of timeor buried to feed summer grasses;I want to mean somethingthrough the small things,so even if this poem is forgottenamongst greater works,and even if my small deeds are lostamid the grandiose ones,I will still resonate;I will resonate in the waythat I held my daughter’s handand braided her hair into plaits,in the way that I spokegently and with a honey tongue,in the way that I carried myselflike I had never felt grief’s weightsettle on my birdlike shoulders;And when you cannot recallthe exact color of my eyes,the sound of my smile,or the look of my laugh,I hope you will not forget me entirely,I hope I will resonate with you.
Lesbian.I chose this life.I chose to set myself up as an Outcast.I chose to hear my best friendsTell me that I am going to hell.I chose to hear the words Dyke and FaggotSpat through scornful lips in my direction.I chose to lose the love of my Family.To hear them say that I was sick.That I was wrong.I chose to place the dreamsOf marrying the person I loveIn a file marked as classifiedBy popular demand.I chose to have the doors of my churchSlammed in my faceBecause apparently, I am the exception to"Love your fellow man."I chose to be chastisedFor holding hands in public.I chose to look over my shoulderAt every cornerAfraid for my life simply becauseI fell in love.I chose this life.I chose to be a Lesbian.
Fool BoyFool boyStupid son of mineSit there and cryI'll leave you behindFool boyWeak son of mineAnother failureYou'll never fill my shoesFool boyArrogant son of mineFall againYou can't challenge meFool boyPompous son of mineLeaveSee how hard the world isFool boyFather of my grandsonYou returnNow back to workFool boySuccessor to my workSurpass meBecome greaterFool boyStrong son of mineLay me to restForgive meI succeeded as a manI failed as a fatherDon't make my mistakeBe better than I ever was
Something LostWhen I was youngerWith dark black hairFresh new skinBaby teeth still intactAnd a flawless porcelain teacupReady to be filledI was free.Summer days,Were magnificent.The sun would peek into my roomlike a bashful childMy eyes were wide awakeReady for a new day.Outside was whereMy spirit wasTiny toes and short legsTickled by dark green grassThat smelled of summer.When I was hungryMy small handsPlucked out the miniature mint leavesThat overtook the gardenSo I wouldn’t have to leave my friends for lunch.And the day went byDisappearing before my eyesOrange, red, yellow, a fire I couldn’t stopUntil it dulled to ashesAnd darkness encased my worldLike a box slammed shut.Those flickering sparksFlew aboutEvading my greedy graspMy eyes drooped like a willow treeTired from continuously pouring teaInto my cup.I was free,But even birds are chained to the skyAnd I flew back to my nestAfter soaring highReady to replenish my kettle.Now I lay in my bedT
Hermit crabIn Oceans deepI´m looking outside my cave,the stone I live in,to the far surface.I wonder about thunderstorms passing byand the sunlight playing with the waves.I go back again, so nothing will ever hurt me herewhere all sounds are deadend.Where all painful screams fade unheardjust as joyful laughter...But my stone,that always was a secure, familiar coveris starting to choke me.Need to get out of here,To go, to run. Where to go?"Will you be my shelter?", I ask.Without a soundyou embrace meand make me feelyour silent promise,to never let me go again.With you I might nowwill go to see whats near the surface.I now want to see the lightning,listen to the seagulls.Because You are not my shelter.But my home.
Vomit and SinewI stopped knowing you when I found him.You faded so far into the background I’ve nearly forgotten your face,and now I wonder what you ever really meant to me.You were once all that mattered.All that gave me solace in a world of darkness I never understood back then..And I was so certain of you.So painfully certain you were the melody my soul was dying to play.That song with its tender nuances, and delicate notes of pain.Though your pain is so close to elegance I find it startlingly beautiful.Like a swan slowly bleeding to death.Where right from the beginning, he reminded me of a wolf.Baring its teeth as its body decomposes.Rotting while still alive.Snarling with rage and hopelessness that has haunted me ever since..While my memories of you manifest as something only quietly sad.Distant and forgettable.He prods at corners so dark I never knew they existed.He drags demons and skeletons out of closets just to make love to them.He entwines himself with images
FiniteThere's onlyten daysbeforetwo secondsof suicideplus a nooseand a glassof milkthat was leftfor Santabut he didn't comebecause only coalcomesto a killerApple coreslitter the floorbecausethere's a girlwho doesn't knowhow to stopeatingbecauseit numbsthe painthat shehides behindA two-headed creaturebecauseone mindis alwaysgoing togo insaneand behungso there has to bean extrato make up fora newfound blemishon the faceof someonehell-benton beautyeven if it makes themugly insideA song on repeatasking"God, is this allthere is?"© TheRealDeidara29
Goodbye***** trigger******You walked me home. I said goodbye. I watched you go then went inside and cried. Why didn't you kiss me? Would you ever miss me if I disappeared? Do I disgust you? Am I not skinny enough for you? You wouldn't miss me. Nobody would. Maybe that was the last goodbye To ever pass my lips.The door was locked and I was inside Trying to die. Razor blade kissesInfinite misses Of the valuable vein.Cover your wounds Act like you fine No one can know of those deep bloody lines. Say hello to your friend Hide the pain deep inside.I see you in the halls. You don't even notice When my sleeves slid up Or the marks on my arm Why did I think you ever truly care? This life is just so hard to bare.No more goodbyes As you close your eyes Falling deep in to the abyss With a slash on each wristsHe missed you and wished he kissed you. G
When You Said Forever I Was Hoping You Meant ItThe alcohol on your lipsBurns like my skin.As I'm awaiting the touch ofYour cold fingertips,Although I know I shouldn't,I've come to loveThe shape our breath makesWhen intertwined like our bodiesYour burning kisses never failTo light me up insideAnd your soft touchSeems to envelop meIn a cyanide cloakIn your hands, I surrenderAnd you quickly destroy my very beingAnd I know that, if I were to be smartI'd make you leaveBecause I know just howBad you are for me, but stillI lay here in your fiery embraceAnd I can't leaveBecause I knowJust how short your forever can beSo, right now, I'll make due with thisBroken piece of infinityAnd attempt to stall the woundsYou don't know that you'll makeWithin me
Memories fadeI had a memoryof a timefardifferent from nowI watched itdriftthrough the pasttill it eventuallybecame lost
LiesLet me look into your eyesEyes beautiful, eyes deep,Let me sink into your mindTo see the secrets that you keepLet me kiss you past your tongueTo your heart warm and sweetThen I'd see the honest truthYour lies are only words deepSome day you may hurt yourselfYour skin will break and bleedThe words will pour quickly outProtection is only skin deepI know you more than anyoneI know the answers that I seekAre hiding behind your pretty wordsYour lies are only skin deep
I don't feel alive.I feel really numb..I realize that I exist,yet I don't feel alive.I feel so lost, lost inside my own thoughts.I don't feel like crying,I also don't feel like smiling.Can I just fall asleep forever?